What do you see?
by Yessiec
Summary: Ryan's thoughts during the early parts of season 5. There will be 2 chapters that will contain 2 slightly different versions of this poem. I don't own Sea Patrol.
1. Chapter 1

_**What do you See? Version 2**_

What do you see when you look at me?

Do you see someone who is happy?

Do you see someone who is content?

Do you see a teen whose actions are their mother's lament?

Do you see a confident young man?

Do you see someone whom is nice to fishermen?

What do I see when I look at myself?

I see a young man who path is not right.

Almost like a cat sitting on the top shelf.

While you may think that I am happy,

I am weeping inside, not willing to fight.

You cornered me to bend to your will,

But you did not consider how I would feel.

I am trying to adjust to being in the Navy,

But I preferred working on the docks.

Don't get me wrong I love the sea,

The seagulls are beautiful in their flocks,

The sunrise is more majestic when on the water

And my crewmates will always have my back.

But I don't feel at home,

I fell very, very much alone.

I do not enjoy my work in the navy.

My Father has just showed up

He is very sick from what I have heard,

I may be his only chance at life,

But his absence has felt like being stabbed with a knife,

Our relationship with each other has now been healed,

But chances are slim that he will ever be.

To gain someone back only to lose them seems worthless,

But I guess to him this time is anything but useless.

I can see that dad wants to makes amends for his wrongs.

I am happy that we have this chance to reconcile.

I feel grieved that I will lose him again soon,

Though next time he will not return to me,

Next time he leaves it will be to his grave.

So here I am a young man searching,

For what I am seeking I am not sure,

but this I know when I find it, it will have an allure,

So onward I search until I can find

What I have been looking for with my heart and my mind.


	2. Slightly different version of poem

_**What do you see?**_

_**Title: **_What do you see?

_**Author: **_Me, Yessie

_**Rating: **_G

_**Disclaimer: **_I don't own Sea Patrol

_**Summary: **_Poem about Ryan's internal struggle in S5

_**Author's Comments: **_This was an idea that came to me and I just had to write it.

Thanks to Wiggle34 for the beta.

_**Comments would definitely be appreciated **_

What do you see when you look at me?

Do you see someone who is happy?

Do you see someone who is content?

Do you see a teen whose actions are their mother's lament?

Do you see a confident and striking young man?

Do you see someone whom is nice to a fisherman?

Do you see someone who is at home on the sea?

What do I see when I look at myself?

I see a young man who path is not right.

Almost like a cat sitting on the top shelf.

While you may think that I am happy,

I am weeping inside, not willing to fight.

You cornered me til i bent to your will,

But you did not consider if it would feel right.

I am trying to adjust to being in the Navy,

But I preferred working on the docks,

Don't get me wrong I love working at sea,

But I prefer seeing the seagulls in their flocks

And the waves as they crash on to the sand.

That can only be enjoyed when walking along the land.

The sunrise is more majestic when on the water

My crewmates will always have my back on the Hammersley.

But I don't feel at home, when I am away at sea.

I am seen as the CO's Godson and a commander's son,

My identity to those people I work with is tied to mum.

I can't be my own person when working in the Navy,

Especially when I am working out of Cairns on Hammersley.

My Father, Stuart has just come back at this tender time.

He is very sick with cancer from what I have heard,

I have been told that I may be his only chance at life,

But his absence thus far still hurts like being stabbed with a knife.

Though through a sickness that has many relationships killed,

Our relationship with each other has now hopefully been healed,

This relationship with me father is better now than any other time.

To gain someone back only to lose them sagain eems worthless,

But I guess to my father this time with me is anything but useless..

I can see that dad wants to makes amends for his wrongs.

I am happy that we have got this chance to reconcile.

I feel grieved that I will lose my dad again so soon.

This time when he leaves, he will not return to me.

Next time he leaves, he will be gone until eternity.

So here I am a young man searching for something,

For what my soul is seeking, I cannot sure,

When I find what it is, it will have a certain allure,

So onward I valiantly search until I can find

What I have been looking for with all my heart,

The one thing I have been craving with my mind.

I will then know what I was looking for from the start.


End file.
